I'm Always Here
by bamfhowell
Summary: Dan is having a very bad day at school. He comes home to get drunk. He Skype's with Phil while he's drunk and Phil gets worried.


It was one of those days where Dan Howell just wasn't having a great day.

It was a Monday which meant that he had to wake up for school. He hated school; he absolutely hated everything about school. He hated the tests and quizzes and the homework they constantly got. Dan was always drowning in homework. He wasn't the smartest kid in his class but he did try his best. He worked hard. Maybe too hard sometimes. It was mostly because his parents were so hard on him. If he got anything lower than a D than he would be grounded. Dan hated being grounded so he always tried his best to do good in school, even when he wanted to give up sometimes.

Dan didn't have any friends. Most of the students at school hated him. One reason being that he was gay. Dan had tried to make friends before but it had gone horrible wrong. Nothing ever went right and it hurt Dan that no one at school gave him a chance.

Though Dan did have one friend... and his name was Phil Lester. Dan didn't actually really know him personally. They actually had met online and started talking to each other and just immediately became best friends.

Phil Lester was mostly known as AmazingPhil on the internet, he was a Youtuber. Dan had been watching his videos for two years. He just loved everything about Phil. It was finally a couple months ago when Dan finally got the courage to tweet Phil and with his luck, Phil tweeted him back. Ever since then they've been talking through DM's on twitter and Skype almost every day with each other. Unfortunately, Phil didn't live close to Dan so they could never meet.

Dan had gotten home from school but he was not in a good mood at all.

So many things went wrong for him at school. Since he was late he had gotten another detention. Then, to top it all off… he had gotten into another fight with someone because of the fact that he was gay. Dan couldn't stand the name-calling that happened at school. That's what set him off. He had tried talking to teachers but they didn't care about him. Nobody did. That's why Dan had been so depressed lately. He knew that nobody cared about him. Not even his parents or his little brother. The only person who might have cared about him was Phil.

Dan sighed loudly as he walked into the kitchen. It was around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. He'd been home from school for an hour. Dan was supposed to be on Skype with Phil soon. Dan didn't care though, not today. He was only 15-years-old but he wanted to drink. Maybe drinking would just help him forget all of his problems and he could move on with his life.

Dan walked over to the fridge and opened it. He bit his lip as he looked around.

"Where is it? Where is it?" Dan whispered as he looked around for his dad's alcohol. Luckily, his parents worked on week days and they always worked late. Dan smiled when he finally found a few cans of beer that was hidden in the back. He grabbed them and pulled them in the back. He shut the fridge. He turned around and jumped when he saw his little brother, Alex.

"What are you doing with that? That's dads," Alex said.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Since when did you care what I do?" He asked.

Alex raised his eyebrows. "I care. It's just I have other things to worry about," he said.

Dan scoffed. "You're 13-years-old. What do you have to worry about?" He asked.

"More than you think. Are you really gonna drink that? That's three cans."

Dan shrugged his shoulders. "Sure. Why not?" Dan said. He turned around and then he grabbed a glass from the cabinet. Dan pushed passed Alex and then he went to his bedroom. He slammed his door shut and locked it. He always locked his door. He never wanted to bother with his family. They didn't care about him anyways. So, why should he care about them?

Dan walked over to his computer desk and sat down. He sat the three cans of beer on the desk, as well as the glass. Dan took a deep breath. He bit his lip as he looked down at his wrist, which had three red marks on it. Dan had only self-harmed a couple of times. He had tried to stop but he couldn't help it. Dan shook his head. He groaned and hid his face in his hands.

Two hours later and Dan was drunk. He didn't think he would get drunk but he did. He's never been drunk before. He didn't like the feeling but he didn't even care anymore.

Now it was 6 o'clock in the evening and Dan would be Skyping with Phil soon.

Dan was still sitting at his computer desk. He had his face hidden in his arms. He had a headache. He didn't feel good. The fact that he was drunk wasn't helping either. Dan jumped up as soon as he heard a noise coming from his computer. Phil was Skyping him. Dan knew that it wouldn't be a good idea to Skype Phil while he was drunk but he honestly didn't care. He wanted to see Phil. Phil always made him feel finally answered Phil's call.

"Hey Dan!" Phil greeted happily, with a smile as soon as Dan answered his call. Phil looked up.

Normally he would smile as soon as he saw Phil's face. Not today.

"Dan? Are you okay?" Phil asked when Dan didn't say anything.

"Fine... I-I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Dan asked.

Phil frowned. "Did you have a bad day at school today?" He asked nervously.

"I always have a bad day at school. School fucking sucks," Dan snapped.

"I'm sorry, Dan. I wish there was something I could do," Phil said.

Dan sighed as he rubbed his eyes. This headache was killing him.

"Are you sure you're okay Dan?" Phil asked worridly.

"No. I'm not okay," Dan mumbled. He shook his head.

Phil blinked a few times as he stared at Dan. "Wait a minute, are you drunk?" He asked.

Dan immediately looked up at him, shocked that Phil had actually asked if he was drunk. "What the fuck? How can you tell if I'm drunk or not?" He asked.

"I've been to plenty of parties to tell when someone is drunk or not. Trust me, I can tell that you're drunk." Phil told him. He sighed. "Hey, what's going on?" He asked.

"What's going on? More like what's not going on," Dan snapped. "I hate my life. I hate everything and I hate everyone. Nobody cares about me. I just want everything to end."

"Dan, you're only 15-years-old. Things will get better. I promise," Phil assured him.

"No, Phil. You just don't understand how I feel!" Dan yelled. His eyes began to water up.

"Where are your parents? Are they not home?" Phil asked curiously.

"No. Even if they were… they wouldn't listen to me. They never listen to me. They don't care about me. They only care about their perfect son, Alex." Dan snapped.

"That's not true, Dan. They do care about you," Phil said.

Dan rolled his eyes, ignoroing what Phil said. "I wish you were here," Dan whispered as his eyes began to water up. "You're the only one who gives a damn about me."

"Other people care about you too, Dan. I wish you would see that," Phil whispered.

Dan looked down at his hands. He looked over at his glass that was still halfway full. Dan reached over and then he took a drink, not caring that Phil was watching him.

Phil frowned as he watched them. "Stay there Dan. Don't do anything stupid," he warned.

Dan looked over and frowned when he saw that Phil had ended the call.

"Fuck!" Dan yelled. He reached over and immediately grabbed the glass and then he threw it across the room. Tears began to pour out of his eyes. Dan fucked up big time now.

A train ride and a couple hours later; Phil was finally standing in front of Dan's house, for the first time. Luckily Dan had given him his address before so Phil already knew exactly where to find it. Phil took a deep breath before he finally walked up to the door. He knocked on it a few times. Phil stood there for a few minutes before the door finally opened. Phil looked up and blinked a few times when he didn't see Dan. Dan had told him that he had a younger brother.

"Who are you? Do you know how late it is?" The younger boy asked.

Phil sighed. "Look, I know it's real late and I'm really sorry but… is Dan home?" He asked.

"Dan? You know Dan?" Alex asked. Phil nodded. "I didn't know Dan had any friends."

"Can I come in? Dan's drunk and really upset and I need to be there for him," Phil said.

"How do you know if he's drunk or not?" Alex asked curiously.

Phil sighed. "Because I was Skyping him earlier and he was drinking in front of me," he told him.

Alex raised his eyebrows as he stared at Phil. "Ah, so you're that mysterious boy who my brother's been talking to all this time. Alright. You can come in. You're lucky our parents work late on week days," Alex said before he finally stepped aside and let Phil in.

"Thank you. Where's Dan's bedroom at?" Phil asked as he looked over at Alex.

"Up the stairs to the right," Alex told him.

Phil nodded. He turned around and ran up the stairs. He went straight to Dan's bedroom. Phil took a deep breath as he walked up to the door. He was about to see Dan in person for the first time in six months. They've been talking to each other for six months but they've never seen each other in person. Just on Skype, but that didn't really count.

Phil went to open the door but he frowned when he saw that it was locked.

Alex walked up the stairs a few seconds and he raised his eyebrows as he watched Phil try to desperately open Dan's door. "Do you need help?" Alex finally asked.

Phil jumped and looked over at him. "Do you know how to open a locked door?" He asked.

Alex smiled and nodded. "He always locks his door. Give me a second," Adrian said. He ran back down the stairs and then he came back up a few minutes later with a knife in his hand. Phil stepped back. He raised his eyebrows as he watched Adrian. A few seconds later and the door opened. "There you go." Alex said. He looked over at Phil.

"Wow, thanks." Phil said, surprised that Alex had opened the locked door so fast.

Alex nodded. He turned around and went back down the stairs.

Phil took another deep breath before he opened the door and walked into Dan's bedroom. Phil bit his lip as he looked around. He glanced over at the bed and frowned when he saw Dan lying there. "Dan," Phil whispered. He reached over and shut the door, locking it again. He walked over to the bed and sat down. "Dan." Phil said louder. He shook Dan a few times.

Dan turned on his back and finally opened his eyes.

Phil could tell that Dan had been crying. His eyes were dark red and there were left over tears on his cheeks. It broke Phil's heart to know that Phil had been crying like that.

Dan looked over and blinked a few times when he saw Phil.

Phil gave him a small smile. "Hey." He whispered.

"P-Phil?" Dan asked tiredly. Phil nodded. "Am I seeing things?"

Phil chuckled and shook his head. "No. You looked like you needed a hug so I came here as soon as possible. I got train tickets and everything and of course I'll stay with you as long as you want me too," Phil crawled over to Dan. "Come here." Phil said. Dan slowly pushed himself up. He still wasn't sure what was going on. He wasn't even sure if he was dreaming or not.

"Oh my God. I feel like I'm going to be sick," Dan said. He immediately stood up from the bed.

"Dan." Phil said with shock as he watched him.

Dan quickly walked over to his door, almost tripping over his own feet. He unlocked the door and opened it and then he immediately walked out of his bedroom.

Phil quickly stood up from the bed and then he followed Dan as ran straight into the bathroom and immediately sat down in front of the toilet and threw up.

Phil ran into the bathroom. He closed his eyes when he saw Dan getting sick. He opened his eyes again and nervously walked over to Dan. He bent down and gently rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry," Dan whispered as his eyes began to water up.

Phil shook his head. "Don't apologize. Please don't apologize. You're fine," he whispered

Phil helped Dan clean up after he got sick. Dan was exhausted by the time they made it back to his bedroom. Phil didn't blame for being so exhausted after everything he went through.

"Hey, come here..." Phil said as they walked into the bedroom. "Take your shirt off." Phil told him. Dan did as he was told. Phil walked over to Dan's dresser and opened one of the drawer's.

"I'm so tired, Phil. I need to lie down," Dan mumbled.

Phil looked over at him. "Wait a second. You're not sleeping in those jeans," Phil said. He pulled out one of Dan's pajama pants. He walked over to Dan and handed him the pajama pants. Dan took them. Phil held onto Dan as Dan took off his jeans and pulled on his pajama pants.

"Now?" Dan asked. He rubbed his eyes.

"Now." Phil said. He wrapped his arm around Dan and helped him sat down on the bed.

"A-Are you staying?" Dan asked as he looked over at Phil.

"Of course." Phil whispered. He sat down on the bed. Dan crawled over to Phil as Phil got under the covers and then he gently pulled Dan next to him. Dan immediately crawled next to Phil and snuggled up next to him, closing his eyes and almost immediately falling asleep.

The next morning;

Dan groaned as he pushed himself up on the bed. He had a horrible headache. He knew it was the hangover from drinking last night but Dan didn't remember a thing that happened last night. The last thing he remembered was talking to Phil on Skype and then everything went black after that. Dan looked over at the clock on his bedside table and saw it was 10 o'clock in the morning. He hadn't planned on going to school today anyways.

Dan looked over beside him when he felt movement. He gasped as soon as he saw Phil lying next to him. That was the last thing that he expected to see.

"Phil?" Dan asked out loud. He didn't know what to think. He was shocked to see Phil.

Phil's eyes slowly fluttered open. He glanced up at Dan. "Hey." Phil said as he gently pushed himself up. "Are you feeling any better?" He asked calmly.

Dan blinked a few times. "Wait, what are you doing here?" He asked.

Phil frowned. "I thought that you would be happy to see me?" He asked.

Dan shook his head. "No, no, no! I am. I'm actually really, really happy to see you. I'm just so confused. I don't remember what happened last night," Dan said.

Phil bit his lip nervously as he stared at Dan. He should have known that Dan wouldn't remember anything. He had been drinking, after all. "Well, I guess you had a bad day at school so you got drunk..." Phil told him. Dan nodded. "Then we were Skyping and you were saying how you hated everything and how nobody loved you or cared about you. I just… I had to come see you and make sure you were okay. You clearly needed someone when no one else was there for you. I wasn't just gonna let you be alone." Phil whispered.

Dan smiled. "You came all the way down here for me?" He asked.

Phil also smiled and nodded. "I would do anything for you," he said.

Dan flung his arms around Phil and hugged him tightly. Phil laughed and wrapped his arms around Dan and pulled him closer. Dan hid his face in Phil's chest. "I love you." Dan whispered, not letting go of Phil once. Phil smiled as he stared down at Dan.

"I love you too, Dan." Phil whispered. "And don't forget that. I'm always here for you."


End file.
